A good idea sleeps on a waterbed of bad ideas.
Past-Self neglected to write the best man’s speech for his brother’s wedding this Saturday. This will leave Future-Self with very little time to write the 90-second toast, reports Present-Self. “Past-Self said we had enough time to finish the toast on Saturday,” said a disgusted Present-Self. “It’s now Saturday. Dinner’s done. Where’s the speech? Future-Self...
Providence, RI – Mike Sharon’s appreciates his coworkers’ compliments and comments on his “new shirt” but would like everyone to know he bought this American Rag Ponce Embroidered shirt a long time ago. He doesn’t remember where but he thinks it was when he was in New York. Sharon, a Java developer at Vector...
An entire litter of puppies nearly threw up after witnessing twp puppy siblings making out during a recent park visit. The two puppies had grown close since sharing their mother’s womb a few weeks ago but the relationship had been thought to be just another canine friendship. Nobody in the litter expected something this...
Farmer Robert J. Brown triple checks the depth of his plow points, sets the pitch of the plows and spaces the tractor wheels appropriately before he begins plowing his corn fields in the morning. Once his detailed routine is complete, his last task is to steer carefully and fantasize about one day shooting an...
San Francisco, CA – As long as Pauly can remember, he lived a life of rotating smells and park space to use as he wished. Now the one-year old Labrador mix’s life revolves around running with family person in straight line with no stopping or turning. Pauly admits the first 34 seconds of running...
Last night Mike Hende used his roommate’s laptop because it was the only computer within reach of the couch. He read some of the Gmail left open in a browser because he could. He typed “Sex” and “bed” in the “Search Mail” function but nothing came up. Terms like “gay” and “homosexual” only yielded...
A floating red balloon at one time hoped it was heading towards a safe destination. However, after seven hours of drifting, the balloon hopes to be sucked into an airplane’s turbine soon. The terror started a few hours earlier at 10-year-old Billy Melhorn’s birthday party. The inflatable bag witnessed party-goers opening up other balloons,...