Lovelock, NV – Not one Perishing County resident predicted this outcome to the annual Lovelock Correctional Center Football Championship game. Reno pegged the Inmates as 500-to-1 underdogs to even score a touchdown. The Inmates proved all the skeptics wrong by beating the Lovelock Correctional Guards and finally bringing the Lovelocket trophy back to the...
Geneva, Switzerland – After generations of searching, scientists working with the CERN Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest particle accelerator discovered the elusive Snuffleupagus particle. Many thought it would be years for the scientists to pinpoint the location of this particle that seemed to always be a few steps ahead of curious scientists. On...
Some fabulous secret online powers were revealed to He-Man. With just one click He-Man joined the Masters of the Business Administration in hospitality management. He already completed his first mission and has a head start on another. While sitting in the comfort of his Eternia apartment, the Prince of Eternia emailed his take-home lodging...
Infinity broke its own record last night, snatching the Multiplier of the Year award for the infinite time at the 2009 Multis. “I know a lot numbers don’t want to see me on this stage but this isn’t for them,” said a smiling Infinitas during his acceptance speech. “This award goes out to my...
Fridge – On Saturday, Butter told investors it planned to expand its use to coffee creamers, increasing the production of butter by 3.2%. The cream believes its agitated butterfat will be a wonderful pair with cup of coffee or possibly tea. “Rather than have cream and butter with your pancakes and coffee, just have...
Columbus, OH – Police officials expressed frustration with the ongoing investigation of a double homicide in the Mason Heights apartment building after both victims tested positive for Febreze, an odor eliminator used by many corner-cutting murderers. Franklin County Sheriff’s Office revealed they were expecting to work through the night and possibly longer but doubted whether they would be...
Levittown, NY – Sam Tallman has been collecting Newsday.com subscriptions since the local New York newspaper offered access to online content for a low price of $5 a week back in October 2009. As much as it pains the online-newspaper-subscription enthusiast, he believes three months is long enough to collect limited-edition subscriptions and has...
Orlando, FL – Top countertourism officials warn that without an immediete implementation of a countertourism strategy, Disney World might soon be overrun with tourist activity and the 38-year conflict could soon result in complete mission failure. The amount of tourist activity in the Florida theme park has actually decreased this year but most experts...