Lovelock, NV – Not one Perishing County resident predicted this outcome to the annual Lovelock Correctional Center Football Championship game. Reno pegged the Inmates as 500-to-1 underdogs to even score a touchdown. The Inmates proved all the skeptics wrong by beating the Lovelock Correctional Guards and finally bringing the Lovelocket trophy back to the...
Miami, FL – Coach Shannon gave no timetable for Malcolm Mackey’s return to practice after the outside linebacker sprained his MCL but insiders expected the Miami Hurricane player to attend classes for at least four to six weeks. Fans had feared the injury might force the junior standout to attend Mass Comm 301, Broadcast...
Investigators believe an elderly man fell victim to a trade swindle by a scam artist who identified himself as an NFL coach. The trickster claimed he had a “can’t-miss defensive lineman” that would catapult Davis’ Oakland Raiders into the playoffs, and possibly into the Super Bowl. He suggested Mr. Davis bite on the deal...
Houston, TX – Texans starting quarterback Matt Schaub quickly retaped his 10K Gold Mirror Heart Anklet during last night’s exhibition game with the Minnesota Vikings. The unisex anklet was rubbing the wrong way on his ankle tape and Schaub described the injury as “extremely uncomfortable.” He picked up at the hospital last year while...
Nashville, TN – As the Tennessee Titans offense cooled down after an afternoon practice, Kerry Collins shared some personal stories from the music festival Woodstock 94. “During Green Day, I freaked out,” said an excited Collins. “We threw like 30, 35 mud balls, but still wording every lyric out of Billie’s mouth. We were...
Dallas, TX – Team doctors revealed starting quarterback Tony Romo has been suffering the last few seasons with shit for brains. The medical personnel said the shit has gradually replaced the basal ganglia part of Romo’s brain. “It’s remarkable he’s come this far,” said Dr. Jack Porter. “Just because you might have shit in...