Madison, WI – After reviewing the logistics of buying, signing and sending a birthday card to a good friend versus simply doing nothing, Tim Pearson has decided to end his 15-year friendship with his former college roommate. Matt Tillons, who will be 33 on Saturday, has been friends with Pearson since the two roomed...
Miami, FL – Coach Shannon gave no timetable for Malcolm Mackey’s return to practice after the outside linebacker sprained his MCL but insiders expected the Miami Hurricane player to attend classes for at least four to six weeks. Fans had feared the injury might force the junior standout to attend Mass Comm 301, Broadcast...
San Francisco, CA - Since relocating operations to the Tenderloin district of San Francisco, Batman has been boosting his crime fighting stats of his career. Just yesterday, Batman’s heroics busted 76 criminals on the corner of Turk and Taylor in the Tenderloin district. Of the arrests, 75 were for trying to sell crack cocaine, heroin,...
A 212-year-old ghost was escorted off of the set of the new zombie movie Flesh Kill after members of the wardrobe department noticed the ghost hiding in the rotting corpse. A studio representative said the ghost left peacefully and he didn’t foresee any threat of a haunting or poltergeist of any kind. The ghost...
Atlanta, GA – Paul Melrose may have found the solution to his lack of vocabulary and ability to express thoughts with many different words. Apple approved a new Iphone App that offers users complete mobile knowledge of the Roget’s Thesaurus. Melrose downloaded “Thesaurus for the Rest of Us” app earlier this morning and has...
The turkey and ham Lunchable Mark Maynard’s ate during his 4th grade lunch break is about done traveling through Mark’s small and large intestine and finally will be excreted. The packaged meal that consisted of crackers, small slices of turkey, ham and cheese started this journey immediately after Mark finished it on May 22nd,...
People across the country are still coping with the success of another Michael Bay movie. “Transformers: Revenge of teh Fallen” opened in late June and generated over $200 million in its first five days of release. Since then, people have been doing their best to deal with the collective depression. “Some days are better...
New York, NY – Teammates of Alex Rodriguez have noticed the superstar shortstop reading the same issue of Maxim since at least early April. “He definitely was reading the issue when we traveled to Baltimore,” said one Yankee teammate. “I remember he was sitting on the plane really concentrating, almost like he was studying for...
The Learning Channel (TLC) has decided to end Learning after 29 seasons and replace Learning with more The and Channel programming. Learning first premiered on the TLC network in November 1980 and explored topics ranging from nature, science to decorative cakes and light child abuse/neglect. Tweet